On “Work & Success”

A “good job” can still be bad work. It’s easy to confuse a life that makes sense on paper with one that fills your heart and soul.

Having an impressive job or career is the easiest way to run from both your inner world and outer world responsibilities while still being seen as a respectable adult.

Defining success on your own terms will create tension with those around you who don’t value the same things. It is easier to succeed like those around you but more satisfying to make progress against your own secret mission over the long-term.

“Have you tried doing less on the problem?” is an underrated strategy to get unstuck. Most people try to do more.

On “Parenting”

Becoming a father is the most humbling thing I have experienced. The first two years of this journey have forced me to admit “I don’t know and it’s okay” more times than I can count.

I’ve never experienced more moments of joy and love than I have while spending time with my daughter. It’s probably the best way to reawaken your inner child. I’m still gradually re-learning how to play, not take myself seriously, and be silly. My daughter is my greatest teacher.

Parenting has added hard constraints to my life and I would be lying if I said I “had it all.” I’ve sacrificed a lot of time working over the past two years, and this has been hard. We don’t live in a culture where this is a normal thing to do, especially for dads. But I don’t regret this one bit. Every time I’ve felt the pull to “do more,” I try to think about the end of my life, realizing that I won’t regret this time one bit.

On “Life”

You can reorient your life in a new direction quickly but the underlying rewriting of scripts and rewiring of your nervous system takes much longer than you would ever expect.

I’ve never looked back and regretted being more adventurous with my life. Assuming this is true still now it means I can probably be more adventurous than I feel comfortable with right now too.