“There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak.” — Simon Sinek

“Open your mind before your mouth.” — Aristophanes

“If we cannot listen mindfully, we cannot practice right speech. No matter what we say, it will not be mindful, because we’ll be speaking only our own ideas and not in response to the other person.” — Thích Nhất Hạnh

= 主動傾聽 = 積極傾聽

[@covey7HabitsHighly2013]

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

《善意溝通》提到，好的傾聽需要注意對方話語背後的情感與需求，這些往往隱藏在言外之意中。因此，除了用耳朵聽，我們還需要用肢體語言與眼神表達專注，例如輕點頭或用適當的目光交流。作者宋怡慧老師強調：「傾聽不只是耳朵的工作，更是心的參與。」

避免預設立場和選擇性聆聽

Are you listening to understand or listening to reply/respond?

Seek first to understand, then to be understood. Make someone else feel seen, heard, and remembered.

Share with someone who wants to listen or listen to someone who wants to share.

Three Levels Of Listening

1. “Me” Listening: You’re having a conversation, but your internal voice is relating everything you hear to something in your own life. Your internal voice runs off on tangents, thinking about your own life while the other person is talking about theirs. You’re waiting to speak, not listening to learn. This is the default mode of listening for everyone.
2. “You” Listening: You’re having a conversation, and you are deeply focused on what the other person is saying. You are present and intently focused. You’re not waiting to speak, you’re listening to learn.
3. “Us” Listening: You’re building a “map” of the other person, understanding how all the new information they are sharing fits into that broader map of their life and world. You’re listening to understand, considering the layers beneath what the other person is saying. ¹

A good listener is one who helps us OVERHEAR ourselves. ² When you truly listen, you feel yourself fade away, creating space for the other person to fully express themselves and be their authentic self.

“The core skill of Understanding is the search for the underlying theme or possible cause that fuels the emotion. We’re not asking questions and listening to answers just to provide a sympathetic ear. As we listen, we’re looking for a meaning that goes deeper than the words being said.” ― Marc Brackett, Permission to Feel: The Power of Emotional Intelligence to Achieve Well-Being and Success

“Understanding requires mastery of four ways of looking at things – as they were, as they are, as they might become, and as they ought to be.” — Dee Hock

“We are all different. Don’t judge, understand instead.” — Roy T. Bennett

Listen to what is not being said—the unspoken words, the non-verbal cues. Listen intently before replying. Listening with compassion. ³

Being able to listen well is a superpower—keep asking people “Is there more?”, until there is no more.

“When you listen, you learn.” — The key to effective communication is not telling people everything that you know, but everything that they need to hear. And the only way to know what they need is to LISTEN.

「積極/主動聆聽」是指從頭到尾很專心/認真地聽完對方說話 ⁴，同時注視對方的雙眼，並且打從心底感興趣/抱持好奇心、給予對方回應並且提出問題，以試圖加深理解。