“The thing I’ve learned over the years about advice is that no one can accurately predict the future, but we all think we can. So advice at its best is one person’s limited perspective of the infinite possibilities before you. People’s advice is based on their fears, their experiences, their prejudices, and at the end of the day, their advice is just that: it’s theirs, not yours. When people give you advice, they’re basing it on what they would do, what they can perceive, on what they think you can do. But the bottom line is, while yes, it is true that we are all subject to a series of universal laws, patterns, tides, and currents—all of which are somewhat predictable—you are the first time you’ve ever happened. YOU and NOW are a unique occurrence, of which you are the most reliable measure of all the possibilities.” ― Will Smith

On Giving Advice

TL; DR When giving advice, focus on the general (原則性的), not the specific (特定性的).

“To advise is not to compel.” — Anton Chekhov

“There is a difference between giving directions and giving direction.” — Simon Sinek

樂於分享是件好事，但是分享的動機或是給人的觀感，卻不一定都是正面的 → 「分享」和「炫耀」只是ㄧ線之隔

過去的成就除了彰顯自己，很難有其它任何作用。如果沒有要探討過去，那麼應該謹慎分享自己的經驗。

Advice should really only be given in relative terms.

Don’t give unsolicited advice people don’t ask for.

Instead of giving advice, try asking (good) questions first. People will often realize what to do in the process of answering your questions.

Letters of Note

I am not a fool, but I respect your sincerity in asking my advice. I ask you though, in listening to what I say, to remember that all advice can only be a product of the man who gives it. What is truth to one may be disaster to another. I do not see life through your eyes, nor you through mine. If I were to attempt to give you specific advice, it would be too much like the blind leading the blind.

Start and end all of your advice with a disclaimer.

On Receiving/Taking Advice

“Instead of seeking feedback, you’re better off asking for advice. Feedback tends to focus on how well you did last time. Advice shifts attention to how you can do better next time.” ― Adam Grant, Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things

TL; DR When receiving advice, focus on the general, not the specific.

It’s better to take advice from someone who understands why they failed than from someone who misunderstands why they succeeded.

When someone gives you a recommendation, a piece of advice, or tells you what you “need” to do, consider the opposite as well. Pause and ask yourself: what would the complete opposite look like—and could that also make sense? You might be filtering out the advice you need most.

• Selfish people should listen to advice to be more selfless, selfless people should listen to advice to be more selfish.

The point of seeking advice isn’t to follow it blindly but to enhance your clarity of thought. Advice is often rooted in the giver’s unique experiences, values, and goals, which may not align with your own. People give guidance from what works for them. It may or may not apply to you. This is particularly true for online advice, where blog posts and articles reflect the writer’s perspective and lifestyle, often without context about your situation. They have no idea about you. There’s no guarantee that what works for them will also work for you. Without the opportunity to question causality or critically filter the advice, it risks becoming mental clutter, occupying your mind and to-do list without being meaningfully internalized.

The Advice Paradox: Taking more advice can leave you less well-prepared.

It’s dangerous to use someone else’s map of reality to navigate yours. Develop your own filters and selectively accept and implement advice—take the signal, skip the noise. Be comfortable with ignoring advice. At the end of the day,

• only you can give yourself the best advice, because it’s you who knows the entire story and context, not anyone else on the internet.
• there is really no “right way” of doing things, especially in the age of infinite information on the internet. Finding a personalised approach is key.

Be careful WHO you’re getting advice from.

• Don’t…
  • ask for advice if you’re really just looking for permission.
  • take advice from the person who hasn’t done the thing you want to do.
  • listen to the opinions of those that haven’t achieved what you want to achieve.
  • take opinions from people on the sideline (including family and friends). ¹

Be cautious about giving too much weight to advice simply because it comes from someone who has been alive on this planet longer than you. Age doesn’t always equate to wisdom. Longevity doesn’t guarantee insight. Don’t mistake years for wisdom.

When some one gives you advice, sandbox it and ask:

• “Will this work for me?”
• “What does this mean to me?”

Subtract incentives from advice.

• Don’t ask your barber if you need a haircut.
• Don’t ask your doctor what you should do. (Instead, ask him what he would do if he were in your place.)

Prioritize action: Take some advice, act on it, adjust accordingly. Otherwise advice gathering can quickly become a form of procrastination.

People often ask me for the best piece of advice I’ve ever received, and I often respond with “Don’t take anyone’s advice. Have the courage to go with your gut!”

The only advice worth seeking is the kind that might actually change your mind.

Most advice isn’t meant to be followed. It’s meant to sharpen your filter. But you need to hear enough of it to train your filter. Be open-minded. You don’t build instincts by avoiding advice. You build them by learning what to reject and what to keep. The goal is to build a high hit-rate gut. One that gets better through pattern recognition, reflection, and making your own mistakes.

Be patient with those who give you advice. Advice is nostalgia in disguise—old memories pulled from the past, cleaned up, softened at the edges, and offered back as something more valuable than it ever was.