On Giving Feedback

To give feedback, first make the other person feel you care about them.

Principles

1. Make it shorter.
2. Make it more appealing.
3. Make it general → “How could it apply to more people?”

Remember, the key to effective feedback is to make it:

1. Timely: Give feedback as close to the event as possible.
2. Regular: Don’t save up feedback; provide it consistently and periodically.
3. Balanced: Mix positive feedback with areas for development.
4. Actionable: Provide clear steps or guidance for improvement.
5. Specific: Be clear about what was done well or needs change.
6. Empathetic: Understand the recipient’s perspective and frame feedback with empathy.

Criticism Sandwich

• 善用「先稱讚，再建議」的順序：First praise the person for something, then deliver the criticism, and then close with topic-shifting praise to exit the sensitive topic.
  1. Positive start: Begin with positive feedback to open the conversation.
  2. Constructive core: Place the area for improvement in the middle.
  3. Positive end: Finish with positive reinforcement or encouragement.
• Example:

You: Hi, Mara. Do you have a second?

Mara: Sure. What’s up?

You: First, I wanted to thank you for helping me with the Meelie Worm account [or whatever]. I really appreciate you showing me how to handle that. You’re really good at fixing the technical issues.

Mara: No problem.

You: Here’s the thing. ¹ There is a lot of work coming down on everyone, and I’m feeling ² a bit overwhelmed. Normally, priorities are really clear to me ,³ but I’ve been having trouble recently figuring out which tasks are highest on the list. Could you help me by pointing out the most important items when a handful need to be done? I’m sure it’s just me, but I’d really appreciate it, and I think it would help.

Mara: Uhh … I’ll see what I can do.

You: That means a lot to me. Thanks. Before I forget ,⁴ last week’s presentation was excellent.

Mara: Did you think so? Blah, blah, blah …

Instead of using the “criticism sandwich (criticize twice, praise once)” method, where criticism is sandwiched between two praises within 30 seconds, it is advised to provide two praises and one private criticism at different times during the day or week.

The SBI Model

1. Situation: Describe when and where the behavior occurred. Be specific and factual.

   Example: “In yesterday’s team meeting…”

2. Behavior: State exactly what the person did or said. Focus only on observable actions or words used. Avoid interpretations, assumptions, or labels.

   Example: “…you interrupted Sarah while she was presenting.”

3. Impact: Explain the effect of that behavior on you, the team, or the outcome. This helps the person understand why it matters.

   Example: “…which made it harder for her to finish/share her points/ideas and slowed the discussion.”

On Receiving Feedback

When people hesitate to give you honest feedback, ask for a score from 0–10, instead of asking, “What do you think?”—which invites ambiguity. You’ll rarely get a perfect 10, and this makes it easy to follow up with, “What would make this closer to a 10?” Better questions lead to better feedback—and faster growth.

避免抱持任何預設立場，永遠以「對方或許更接近真相」來思考（假設別人是對的，自己是錯的），甚至可以在對話/交流中這樣回應：

• 「我認為你觸及到核心問題了，請多說一些。」
• 「你的觀點似乎切中要害，能否再深入說明？」
• 「我覺得你點到關鍵了，可以再多分享一些嗎？」

Don’t confuse DISAGREEMENT with DISRESPECT. Never confuse your CRITICS with your HATERS. Feedback can skyrocket your growth if you don’t take it personally.

Advice