7 Ways to Make a Conversation With Anyone | Malavika Varadan

• Talking to Strangers: The speaker encourages the audience to talk to strangers, highlighting the potential for learning and new experiences [01:56].
• Overcoming the First Word Barrier: Advice is given to simply say the first word to initiate a conversation, comparing it to opening floodgates [04:12].
• Skip the Small Talk: The speaker advises against getting stuck in routine small talk and suggests asking personal questions to make conversations memorable [05:47].
• Finding Common Ground: There is no room for negativity, find the things (e.g., interests, hobbies, etc.) in common with the person you are talking to [07:39].
• Giving Unique Compliments: The speaker suggests giving honest, genuine and unique compliments (on less obvious things) [09:46].
• Asking for Opinions: The speaker advises asking for simple opinions to open up a two-way conversation [10:27].
• Being Present: The importance of being fully present and making eye contact during a conversation is emphasized [11:45].
• Remembering Details: The speaker stresses the significance of remembering details about a person, such as their name [12:44].
• Conversation as Reading a Book: The speaker uses an analogy of a conversation being like reading a book, encouraging people to explore the full stories of others [14:06].

Four different ways to respond when someone shares news

1. active constructive
2. active destructive
3. passive constructive
4. passive destructive

Active constructive responses, which involve genuine engagement and building on the person’s news, are found to be the most energizing.

The RASA Framework

• Receive: focus your attention on what the person is saying.
• Appreciate: show signs of appreciation.
• Summarize: sum up in a few words what the person was telling you.
• Ask a good question.

The Principles of Connected Conversation

• Principle 1: Create Doorknobs (that lead to a story rather than end the conversation)
• Principle 2: Be a Loud Listener
  • Sounds: Saying “yes” or “uh-huh” or “hmm” to signal listening and encourage continued energy from the speaker.
  • Facial Expressions: Changing facial expressions to react physically to the story being told.
  • Body Language: Forward lean posture towards the speaker signals engagement and positive energy. Never turn away or sideways, as it signals you are trying to leave a conversation and immediately hurts the energy of a moment.
• Principle 3: Repeat & Follow
  • Repeating key points back to the speaker in your own words and following on with an additional insight, story, or doorknob.
  • Deliberately mirror their words by echoing the last one to three key terms they used; this simple gesture signals attentiveness and gently invites them to continue.
• Principle 4: Make Situational Eye Contact
  • Deep and connected while they speak.
  • Organic while you speak - It’s ok to gaze off while you think, but use eye contact to emphasize key points and moments in a story.