“You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It’s their mistake, not my failing.” — Richard P. Feynman
“Care about what other people might think of you and you will always be their prisoners.” — LAO TZU
“We all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.” — Marcus Aurelius
“If you know how quickly people forget the dead, you will stop living to impress people.” — Christopher Walken
= 聚光燈效應
[@gilovichSpotlightEffectSocial2000]
People tend to overestimate the degree to which other people are noticing, observing, and judging their appearance or behaviors (trivial egoic concerns)
Harsh truth in reality:
- Nobody is thinking about you as much as you are. Everyone is concerned mostly about themselves, how how they’re coming across. They are just/far too busy thinking about themselves.
- Most people don’t actually care about you; They are really just going through life worried about themselves.
Stop caring about what others might think of you. Like birds sing, not worrying about who hears.
You’ll quit worrying about what others think about you when you realize how rarely they actually think about you.
The “No One Cares” Mindset
- No one cares if I write blog posts that are a bit rambly because I haven’t had much experience of writing.
- No one cares if my belt doesn’t match my shoes when I attend this party.
- No one cares about the driver of Lamborghini, but they want to be the driver of Lamborghini.
Nobody cares.
When you’re winning, when everything is going well, when you’re crushing it, nobody cares. When you’re losing, when everything is falling flat, when you’re down and out, nobody cares.
There are two big mistakes in life:
- Worrying about what other people think about you.
- Believing that other people think about you in the first place.
連續問自己五次「所以呢？」
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察覺焦慮：當你覺得被注視或擔心出糗時，先停下來。
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問自己：「所以呢？」
例如：「大家都在看我。」→「所以呢？」
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回答真正的擔心：
「他們會覺得我很奇怪。」
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繼續問「所以呢？」
「所以呢？那又會怎樣？」→「可能他們只是一笑就忘了。」
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重複五次：每問一次「所以呢？」都會少掉一層焦慮，最後發現其實沒想像中嚴重。