“I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself become the wounded person.” — Walt Whitman

“It’s important to make sure that we’re talking with each other in a way that heals, not in a way that wounds.” — Barack Obama

“People have boldness to criticize but not to sensitize.” — Amit Kalantri

“When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it.” — Stephen Covey

“Perspective taking is listening to the truth as other people experience it and acknowledging it as the truth. What you see is as true, real and honest as what I see, so let me be quiet for a minute, listen and learn about what you see. Let me get curious about what you see. Let me ask questions about what you see.

Empathy is incompatible with shame and judgment. Staying out of judgment requires understanding. We tend to judge those areas where we’re the most vulnerable to feeling shame ourselves. We don’t tend to judge in areas where our sense of self-worth is stable and secure. In order to stay out of judgment, we must pay attention to our own triggers and issues.

Empathy (同理) reduces shame, whereas sympathy (同情) exacerbates it. There is a huge difference between feeling with someone and feeling for someone. Shame causes a person to believe they’re alone. Through empathy, we cause them to realize that they are not alone, which is why it is the antidote to shame.” — Brené Brown

The phenomenon of “empathic stress” causes individuals who are exposed to people who are stressed to experience stress themselves.

If someone feels 同情 compassion (“I want to relieve your suffering.”) for a stressed person instead of 同理 empathy (“I feel your suffering.”), they may be less likely to take on that person’s stress.

銅鋰鋅

Sympathetic

The emptiest head rattles the loudest.

換位思考

設身處地替人著想/感受別人的感受

Theory of Mind

Put yourself into the mindset of another person.

Empathy is a full-body experience you practice, not just something you think.

Remember: Every single person is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Everyone has done the best they can. No one is crazy. ¹

See Also

• Judge others by intentions, judge ourselves by actions